So it's his birthday today and I've got to be very kind to him. I am finding this difficult because I bought him a watch (that he had asked for). He then told me he didn't want that watch and sent me a link to another one. So I took the tube (changing trains) to the watch shop when I should have been working, and exchanged the one he had originally asked for, for the new one he now wanted. I gave him the watch this morning and he said 'thank you' and put it in the drawer. When I asked him why he wasn't wearing it, he said it was the wrong watch. But it is his birthday and so I have to be kind to him all day. Only 11 1/2 hours to go.
But really, the watch thing is not the problem. It is a symptom of the problem. And the problem, mainly, is communication. Actually, probably not mainly. Probably wholly. So I am trying very hard to work on the problem of communication without seeing him as a problem, but instead seeing myself as the agent of change. I will let you know how it's going. I have started with an old fashioned calendar. If it ain't on the calendar, it ain't happenin'
Monday 23 January 2012
Monday 2 January 2012
How To Be Married
OK, so this is my first ever blog. Welcome. I'm writing a blog about how to be married, but before I start in earnest I ought to set out a caveat. I am not going to tell you how to be married. In fact, I wouldn't say I'm particularly good at it myself. But I am forever learning how to be... and thought you might like to share in my journey and hopefully identify with some of the difficulties I have with being 'that word'.
So, I should tell you a few things first. I've been married for almost five years, but living as a partner to my husband (always have a problem with that word too) for coming on to twelve years now. We have two children together, two girls who are nine and five. I also have two step-daughters who I have known since they were three and five. They are now sixteen and eighteen. They lived half the time with us for many years, until the eldest went off to university last September. We now see very little of her, but her sister still stays regularly.
Our relationship, that is, my husbands and mine, began with conflict. Not only conflict from relationships with his ex-wife and children, but also a previous relationship that I was still very much embroiled in. In fact, my now husband and I broke up for some time as I ran back to my previous partner, who was somewhat younger and had no children or old wives. But that ship had already sailed and my husband and I found one another again and moved in together within the year.
So that is the not wholly harmonious background to this marriage.
So, I should tell you a few things first. I've been married for almost five years, but living as a partner to my husband (always have a problem with that word too) for coming on to twelve years now. We have two children together, two girls who are nine and five. I also have two step-daughters who I have known since they were three and five. They are now sixteen and eighteen. They lived half the time with us for many years, until the eldest went off to university last September. We now see very little of her, but her sister still stays regularly.
Our relationship, that is, my husbands and mine, began with conflict. Not only conflict from relationships with his ex-wife and children, but also a previous relationship that I was still very much embroiled in. In fact, my now husband and I broke up for some time as I ran back to my previous partner, who was somewhat younger and had no children or old wives. But that ship had already sailed and my husband and I found one another again and moved in together within the year.
So that is the not wholly harmonious background to this marriage.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)